I was flipping through the January 2004 issue of Harper's Bazaar, which I subscribe to only because each issue costs $0.75. You can't get anything for that little anymore! And sadly, that's precisely how much the magazine is worth. But it is entertaining, and has lots of pretty pictures which can be used in collage postcards which I make when I am in ultra-procrastination mode.

My favourite articles are the ones where they poll socialites and various people of that sort as to what they eat and how much they exercise in a day.

After I got over my initial shock, due to me not reading headlines and skipping over "Who's eating what for dinner?" and assuming that nobody ate more than 1000 calories the day (I made this mistake repeatedly, getting more indignant every time I thought that so-and-so consumes only 515 calories per day, and then realising that that was the calorie count only for dinner.. wow, i'm slow), I noted a few trends:

1) A good deal of people are into that nasty as hell Emer'gen-C nutitional supplement powder. I had it once. It comes in a little packet like Kool-Aid, but tastes about 50000 times worse. You mix it into water, and it's supposed to give you all sorts of energy. Rather, it makes me want to puke - admittedly, that requires energy, so maybe it does serve its purpose.
2) They're all really good at portion control. 10-15 gummy bears. 6 almonds. What the hell? Once I get started, I just keep on going. There's no stopping at a measly dozen. Except for the "one stalk of steamed kale" - haha, I just wanted to throw that in there because I thought it was funny that one would eat just one lone stalk. Why stop at one? Kale is all sorts of good for you.
3) Some people work out for inordinate amounts of time. 90 minutes of Bikram yoga at 7AM? If I am up at 7AM, it's 'cause I still haven't gone to bed from the night before, or I have to catch a plane flight. Those are the only two reasons that I'd be up that early. Definitely not to exercise, and not for that amount of time. Same for the 1-hour run at 9AM. You are lucky if I'm awake at 9AM, and then the most stenuous thing I'll do is shower and maybe dry my hair before Regis and Kelly comes on. (And that same chick later does an hour of weight training. Who has the energy for all of this?! Maybe I need that nasty powder crap in my water)

And please. Carol Alt eats 3600 calories in a day? And only does 20 minutes of "Tibetan exercises" and 10 minutes of jumping on her trampoline (at 1AM, no less!) - and maintains that figure? No way in freaking hell. Obviously, they didn't poll her on a day when she visits her liposuctionist. And none of her food is heated to more than 118 degrees, for health benefits unknown to me. All her food sounds like it came from scary crunchy hippy granola-y food place. Germinated almonds and cinnamon-raisin manna, which is a sprouted bread? I'm scared even contemplating those.

Maybe I need a trampoline. Or maybe it's code for: sex. Or: visit to liposuctionist or toilet bowl.

So while I sit here, eating my nice so-not-healthy quesadilla (made with a regular fat flour tortilla), with cheddar cheese (not nonfat cheese, nonfat cheese is for mortaring bricks together and repairing countertops) and half an avocado... well, I don't know what point I'm trying to make. I definitely won't be called up by Harper's Bazaar anytime soon to tell them about my daily eats. But that's not such a great loss. Then people like me would make fun of me. Heeheee.