List of people on my asses-to-be-kicked list:

*AT&T (okay, fine, it's an entire company. But they cannot fix my stupid phone and watch me end up in the forest like those kids from The Blair Witch Project and then DEAD because I don't get digital service there.)
*My "friend" Kevin (his solution to helping me help CBG save face while I turn him down: "I say the only way to save face is to sleep with him." Direct quote.)

Hm, that's only two so far. Give me time, I'll come up with more.