I bought these fantastic cards printed by Indian Hill Press at a local shop. They have incredibly witty verses like the following:

If I Had Been At Your Birthday
I might have eaten all your cake.
I might have got a belly ache.
I might have barfed, you never know.
Aren't you glad I didn't go?

The Truth About Birthdays
The presents make your stomach ache,
The singing never ends,
And someone bakes your favorite cake
And feeds it to your friends.

Snail Mail
E-mail rushes to and fro
Since paper letters seem to slow,
But we prefer the status quo;
This card was sent by escargot.

The accompanying blockprints are also very cute, with smiling snails and sad birthday birds. I need to select which lucky people get these little gems.