While perusing NewYorkish, I came across a mention of a dumb law fining flirting. My interest was immediately piqued. I dashed on over to Dumb Laws to check it out. Given that I'm headed to New York in a few scant hours, I wanted to see what is actually technically illegal. I actually think that some of these dumb laws are valid and should be enforced. Such as the following:

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

Can't you see it now? A whole state of men with horse-blinders on? It would be great. I would also like to be on the committee that defines the phrase "at a woman in that way."

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

I hate people who feel compelled to make small talk. Indeed, sometimes, silence is golden.

Specific to New York City:It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."

All of NYC would be fined, then. And what about men wearing "body hugging clothing"? Sometimes that's even more repulsive.

Intrigued, I decided to check out what laws I could be breaking in my current city, Providence.

Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.

I just thought this one was funny. I would like to know who determines the idiot/lunatic status.

Exercising any labor, business, or work, or using any game, sport, play, or recreation, or causing any of the above to be done to or by your children, servants, or apprentices on the first day of the week (Sunday) results in a penalty of $5 for the first offense and $10 for the second.

This perfectly excuses my lazy Sundays spent in front of the television.

You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

Because apparently wanting people to have clean teeth is a bad idea.

Not terribly interesting, but quirky. There are bound to be better dumb laws in Los Angeles, let alone California. Let's look there.

Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

Amen to that! Who can we sue when it rains or is overcast?

Special to Carmel: Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.

I always wanted to move to Carmel. It had such a pretty name. Carmel-by-the-Sea. So idyllic. But no longer, not if they're enforcing this stupid rule. If I want to have a bad back by the age of 35 due to stilettos, that's my right.

Special to LA: It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.

I wish I knew why. Swaying the jury, perhaps?

Another LA: Toads may not be licked.

What, they don't want girls finding their princes? Oh, I guess there's nothing about kissing a toad. As long as you don't use tongue.

In Pasadena: It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.

I find this priceless.

In San Francisco: Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.

This is perhaps my favourite law ever. Who defines "ugly" though? I want to be on that committee also.

And one last one, in Virginia:

If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.

Okay, two: Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary.

Well, well. Every time I visit crankypants, I'm breaking the law. But it's such a fun one to break.