13 Going On 30.
I have to admit, I was super-excited to see this. Yes, I knew it was a remake of Big, but since I never saw that... and this looked cute... and I love me my romantic comedies.
Okay, I think everyone knows the premise of the movie, unless you've been hidden in a cave somewhere you don't get electricity and have no contact with the outside world. But in case you don't, Jenna Rink is 13. But she wants to be 30. (Why 30? Even when I was little I never wanted to be 30. As a matter of fact, I plan on stopping the aging process at 24, which will be later this year.) 30 means you're flirty and lord knows what else. To make matters short, her childhood friend, Matt Flamhaff (what an unfortunate last name!) gives her a "dream house" he has built for her, along with some wishing dust. Suffice it to say that her birthday party doesn't go as planned, and she wishes fervently to become 30. Lo and behold, the wishing dust works, and she wakes up, Jenna Rink, played by Jennifer Garner, bigtime magazine editor.
So on, and so forth. She realises that her old 30-self was mean, conniving, back-stabbing, husband-stealing, etcetc. But no longer! Not with this 13-year-old mind ruling her! No, she's gonna make things right, and that includes re-finding Matt, the grown-up version played by Mark Ruffolo, and doing whatever else she needs to do to make everything okay again. Then come some realisations, some crying, some more fairy dust, and Mr. and Mrs. Flamhaff live happily ever after in a life-sized replica of the pink dream house he had built for her so many years ago! (Gosh, what a horrible last name!)
I really cannot stand Jennifer Garner, nor could any of my friends, so I'm not sure why we decided to see this movie. Oh yeah, we though we could tolerate her for the greater good of the movie. This Was Not The Case At All. After spending 15 minutes watching Jennifer Garner attempt to precociously find her footing in this new world, we just waited for the movie to be over. She walks like she has a stick up her ass. She attempts to be overly coy, overly charming - I don't care what people think, she is not going to be America's next sweetheart, à la Julia Roberts. She's even more annoying than Ms. Roberts/Mrs. Moder. Jennifer Garner strikes me as being too pandering, too "look at me I'm cute!!!!" too.. I don't know, pink cotton candy. Not that I have anything against cotton candy. She just annoys me with her simpering ways.
The only thing that made this movie worthwhile: the accessories and her closet. Unfortunately, there was only one shot of her closet, but it made us drool. It was an enormous walk-in. Floor to ceiling handbags and shoes. Lots of cool clothes (and why did she only choose to wear the ugly outfits?) She had this great silver Fendi baguette that I would have died for. Then there was this Chanel handbag. And in the wonderland of all closets, I saw last season's Gucci bamboo bag that I desperately wanted but couldn't warrant spending over $1000 for.
This movie had so much potential. So many 80s songs. ("Thriller" is still in my head, as we speak.) With such great 80s songs, how could it go wrong? But go wrong it horribly did. It was a long, drawn-out, overly cliched movie. I wasn't expecting a masterpiece, obviously, but I wanted it to be satisfying, in the manner of The Prince and Me and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!. Maybe it's because I didn't think Mark Ruffolo was cute, who knows. But the ending was the worst ever too. Fairy dust doesn't make everything go away.
In summary, this was a piece of crap and we wished we had been able to keep drinking during it to make the pain go away. It killed the buzz we'd gotten from our morning Bellinis, which was just not good at all. Oh, but the bags. The handbags almost (but not quite) made it worth it after all.
Okay, I think everyone knows the premise of the movie, unless you've been hidden in a cave somewhere you don't get electricity and have no contact with the outside world. But in case you don't, Jenna Rink is 13. But she wants to be 30. (Why 30? Even when I was little I never wanted to be 30. As a matter of fact, I plan on stopping the aging process at 24, which will be later this year.) 30 means you're flirty and lord knows what else. To make matters short, her childhood friend, Matt Flamhaff (what an unfortunate last name!) gives her a "dream house" he has built for her, along with some wishing dust. Suffice it to say that her birthday party doesn't go as planned, and she wishes fervently to become 30. Lo and behold, the wishing dust works, and she wakes up, Jenna Rink, played by Jennifer Garner, bigtime magazine editor.
So on, and so forth. She realises that her old 30-self was mean, conniving, back-stabbing, husband-stealing, etcetc. But no longer! Not with this 13-year-old mind ruling her! No, she's gonna make things right, and that includes re-finding Matt, the grown-up version played by Mark Ruffolo, and doing whatever else she needs to do to make everything okay again. Then come some realisations, some crying, some more fairy dust, and Mr. and Mrs. Flamhaff live happily ever after in a life-sized replica of the pink dream house he had built for her so many years ago! (Gosh, what a horrible last name!)
I really cannot stand Jennifer Garner, nor could any of my friends, so I'm not sure why we decided to see this movie. Oh yeah, we though we could tolerate her for the greater good of the movie. This Was Not The Case At All. After spending 15 minutes watching Jennifer Garner attempt to precociously find her footing in this new world, we just waited for the movie to be over. She walks like she has a stick up her ass. She attempts to be overly coy, overly charming - I don't care what people think, she is not going to be America's next sweetheart, à la Julia Roberts. She's even more annoying than Ms. Roberts/Mrs. Moder. Jennifer Garner strikes me as being too pandering, too "look at me I'm cute!!!!" too.. I don't know, pink cotton candy. Not that I have anything against cotton candy. She just annoys me with her simpering ways.
The only thing that made this movie worthwhile: the accessories and her closet. Unfortunately, there was only one shot of her closet, but it made us drool. It was an enormous walk-in. Floor to ceiling handbags and shoes. Lots of cool clothes (and why did she only choose to wear the ugly outfits?) She had this great silver Fendi baguette that I would have died for. Then there was this Chanel handbag. And in the wonderland of all closets, I saw last season's Gucci bamboo bag that I desperately wanted but couldn't warrant spending over $1000 for.
This movie had so much potential. So many 80s songs. ("Thriller" is still in my head, as we speak.) With such great 80s songs, how could it go wrong? But go wrong it horribly did. It was a long, drawn-out, overly cliched movie. I wasn't expecting a masterpiece, obviously, but I wanted it to be satisfying, in the manner of The Prince and Me and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!. Maybe it's because I didn't think Mark Ruffolo was cute, who knows. But the ending was the worst ever too. Fairy dust doesn't make everything go away.
In summary, this was a piece of crap and we wished we had been able to keep drinking during it to make the pain go away. It killed the buzz we'd gotten from our morning Bellinis, which was just not good at all. Oh, but the bags. The handbags almost (but not quite) made it worth it after all.
posted at 10:34
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