The Prince and Me

The other day, Scarlett Ace suggested that I write reviews of books I've read, just because I've read so many. I love reading. I'm that sort of person who will forego sleep in order to finish a particularly compelling book. But I decided to instead make my first review of a movie, partially because I don't feel like writing about the latest book I read (Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, if you're interested), and also have lots to say about the latest movie I saw. Plus, this way I'm not continually writing about little white dogs, or about how I live to annoy crankypants. (I haven't yet shared the treefrog story, it is the best ever. Some day, when I'm out of things to write. Like tomorrow.)

As deduced from the title of this post, I saw The Prince and Me, starring Julia Stiles and one very hot Brit, Luke Mably. (Incidentally, he is my new love. It definitely helped that he was royalty in the movie. But even so, sooo cute. And he's older than me, which is nice because then I don't feel like I'm robbing the cradle. But enough of this. Let me get back to movie-reviewing.) Note: If you don't want to find out what happens, don't read on. I've already warned you.

The premise is very simple. Studious Girl meets Playboy Prince in Diguise. After some initial resistance on her part, they fall in love. Then she finds out he's really a prince, gets mad, but follows him anyway to Denmark. She realises that she can't be Queen of Denmark, returns home. He shows up and wins her back.

To elaborate: Girl is way into studying and wants to be a doctor and work for Doctors without Borders. She has never left Wisconsin, but has big dreams for the future. Prince, enticed by seeing an ad for Girls Gone Wild - the Wisconsin edition, decides that he wants to go to the midwest. He is followed by his ever faithful manservant. The manservant is great and hysterical throughout the movie. Prince meets Girl in bar, attempts to convince her to show him her boobs. Not an auspicious start - but oh, don't you already know that it's going to be true love?

Of course they fall in love. While at her family's dairy farm over Thanksgiving, there is a hysterical scene involving racing lawnmowers. Crankypants assures me that such ridiculous things do happen in rural Wisconsin. People race lawnmowers! I so want to see this when I'm out there. There is also the requisite shot of someone wearing a cheesehead hat. Then the tabloids catch up to the hot prince, and he's called home to Denmark where he's to assume responsibility for the throne as his father is sick. Initially mad at his deception, Girl realises that she does love the Prince, and hightails it to Copenhagen. Blahblahblah, I'm tired of recapping the film, this isn't fun. Suffice it to say that he proposes, she accepts but later realises that she really does want to be a doctor. (Why? It's so overrated.) She returns home and at her graduation a year later, he shows up, saying that he loves her and only her and will let her pursue her dreams and he will wait as long as it takes, because he loves her that much. TadaaalotsofkissingTheEnd!

But before you write this off as another stupid teen movie - which it is, I agree - it does have some redeeming qualities, that makes it perfect for females of any age. (Guys, you're out of luck, unless you think Julia Stiles is hot.) Let's go over the romantic moments in the movie, that make you melt inside, coo, and wish that men were like this in real life.

To apologise for his boorish behaviour at the bar (where he attempts to get her to show her boobs), Prince quotes from Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare. He uses Shakespeare to say "I'm sorry." I'm lucky if crankypants even realises that I'm miffed at him. But the prince - Shakespeare - definitely 5 "aws" on the "Aw that's so cute and sweet" scale.

He gets a job at the bar she works at in order to make money. Late one night, they're closing up and she plays a song on the jukebox, and dances barefoot around the empty tables. This made me wince because ew, there are like all sorts of germs on a dirty barfloor, but this is a movie. The prince just stands there, watching her, madly in love. At least like 3 "aws".

While they're studying at the library, he plays with her fingers. This may seem insignificant and silly, but believe me, it's big. It's the little things that matters. I wish guys would realise this. Definitely 2 "aws".

When she flies to Denmark to pursue him, she sees him in a royal procession. That's right, he's all done up in royal riding wear with lots of medallions and gold cording and a silly hat, and he's on a horse. When he sees her, there's this gigantic smile on his face, and he breaks form, gallops around and swings her upon his horse. I agree, this cannot be accomplished by the common person. Which makes it even better. It gets at least like 40 "aws".

Later that same day, and still in his royal riding wear, he proposes to her. And boy, does he propose. Down on one knee, he tells her how much he loves her, and then opens his hand - and there's a butterfly, atop this gigantic diamond ring, and the butterfly flitters away. It was poetic. It was beautiful. It melted me into a puddle of mush from which I will never recover. There is no way to rank this scene. The butterfly. See, it's in the little things.

At his coronation ball, he asks her to dance, saying that they're playing their song. Surprised, she asks if they even have a song - then realises that the orchestra is playing that same song that played on the jukebox when he once watched her so longingly. This gets 20 "aws".

At the same ball, he pulls her into a dark room and says he has a surprise for her. No, not that kind of surprise, get your mind out of the gutter. In the corner, there is a covered table, and with a tada takes the tablecloth off to reveal a - dumdadum - meat slicer! Okay, not obviously cute. But see, earlier in the movie, the first time they connect is when she shows him how to use the meat slicer at the bar where he's just started working. So see now, it's cute. Meaningful only to the two of them. And he makes her a turkey sandwich. This receives 20 "aws" too, it's hard to say if this is cuter or if the "this is our song" scene is.

There are a few other cute scenes, but I'm not going to reveal them because you really should watch the movie yourself. If only men would realise how easy it is to make a girl completely fall in love with them. Really, there should be some sort of course that men can be forcibly enrolled in, with courses entitled "How to woo a girl without losing your masculinity" and "The proper proposal" and "It's all in the little things: How to keep a girl in love with you." Movies such as this one would obviously be required viewing.