The Madison Diaries.

And so, I have returned, safe and sound from the black hole (read: the midwest). Obviously, instead of packing, I have decided to write about the trip because I am doing what I am best at - procrastinating.

All in all, it was (surprise!) a very pleasant trip. Here are the highlights:

Being fed lots of home-cooked meals. It's been awhile since I've been home, so this was nice (as I'm generally too lazy and will eat out instead of making my own food). What was even funnier is that his mother - ah, but she has Texan blood running through her veins - has put crankypants's father and sister on the South Beach diet (even though neither of them really need it), whereas crankypants himself is on a weight-gain diet, because he is way too skinny. Yes, she made him weigh himself at the end of his week home, and was positively gleeful over the fact that he had gained 5 pounds. I personally don't think I could follow the South Beach diet, as no meal is complete without a healthy serving of carbs. Also, the dog is on a diet because it is 2 pounds over its goal weight. It's rather amusing.

Having their stupid little pug fall madly in love with me. I'm talking slavish adoration. I say stupid because cranky kept telling her that I'd trade her in for a maltese in a heartbeat (which is true), but the little dog would follow me faithfully around the house, guarding my chair or sitting on my lap whenever she got a chance. I think he's just jealous that it took to me so quickly. And I didn't even have to feed it to get this kind of devotion! His parents marveled at this, because apparently the dog love(d) the mother the best. No longer! When cranky left yesterday morning, the dog couldn't have cared less, but kept an eye on me in case I suddenly disappeared.

Hm, those really are the highlights. It was a rather tame and very bucolic weekend, filled with tons of family time. We walked the dog (while I kept an eagle eye out for the new maltese on the block, which unfortunately I didn't see), I helped his mother with her grant proposal, we looked at the new condos the parents keep threatening to buy (as they no longer have kids in the house, this is their new hobby). I saw the university and the "important" parts of the city, we watched videos, went out for drinks, so on and so forth. I mean, there were tons of funny moments, but they're not so funny if you don't know him and his family.

Also, it is a very good thing that I do not use real names, because his mother proclaimed at dinner one night that she loves googling everyone. She has limited computer skills, but this is apparently one of them. Hopefully she's not found too much on me.

Unfortunately, I did not get to see lawnmower races. This is very disappointing, but I've been told that perhaps we could find one the next time I visit - which is whenever mosquito season isn't, as I swear, nearly my entire leg swelled up in an allergic reaction to one measly bite. It's really sad, but I figure that this is my body telling me that I should be home in LA, where there aren't any mosquitos.

And in case you were wondering - yes, I slept in crankypants's bedroom. With him. His parents apparently had no problem with this, which was just fine by me.