Thoughts on driving in LA.

I spend a large chunk of my day in the car. Due to traffic, when I'm driving from home to work, it can take me a good 75 minutes. Sadly, that's "fast", as before I found this "shortcut", it used to take me 2 hours. TWO HOURS to drive 35 measly miles.

But enough of that bitching. Suffice it to say, I get to spend a lot of time in traffic watching other drivers. Here are some observations, and other things that give me road rage.

When in the hell did people stop using blinkers? I feel like there's been a county-wide memo that I didn't receive. The entire weekend, I counted how many times the person in front of me used blinkers to change lanes. Twice. That's right. A weekend's worth of driving to the beach and around the city, and TWO people used his/her blinkers. This is how accidents happen, people.

Cutting across multiple lanes of traffic in a single swoop? You can't do it, especially if there are cars on the road (and this being LA, there are always cars on the road). Yet people persist in trying. If you realise that you're going to miss your turn - my advice? Miss it. Circle back around. It's not going to take that much longer, and you will then not be putting your life - and the lives of others - in danger.

Along the same lines of the above annoyance - if you know that your exit is coming up soon, why don't you merge over earlier rather than later? Wait in the slow lane if necessary. It is Not Cool when you decide to zip along then BAM! realise that oh yeah, you did want to exit/make a right or left turn here, and halt all traffic in another because your selfish ass didn't want to wait. I'm not gonna let you in. Especially if you try to motion to me that you wanna cut. Or better yet, just edge your way in as if I wasn't there. Didn't we learn that rule in kindergarten, about cutting in line? It's not nice.

If your windows are down, and the windows of the car next to yours are down, and you talk loudly about them - there is NOT an invisible bubble that surrounds you, keeping your mocking words away from their ears. Also related to this, when windows are rolled down, it is not advisable to play a game entitled "Spot the Hasidic Jew" which entails of you leaning out your window, pointing obviously and loudly proclaiming "twenty five!" or whatever number you're currently on. They CAN hear you. (This is not a stranger who does this, this is sadly crankypants.)

Driving is not the time to notice and remark on pretty architecture, because it takes your attention away from the road. Also, driving is not the time to read scripts or magazines, talk on the phone if you are not a multitasker, apply mascara in moving traffic or eat soup or anything else that spills. I cannot stand it when people do this. Unless one has two sets of eyes and two pairs of hands, such feats are impossible.

And a tip for those drivers, who say, daydream whilst sitting at a red light and consequently perhaps don't realise when the light turns green (not that I've, ahem, ever been guilty of this). When people give you dirty looks, or honk their horn, pass you and then give you a dirty look - rather than giving them the finger or returning their dirty look, stick out your tongue instead. Perhaps it's not the most mature thing to do, but the look on their faces is priceless. They just don't know what to do.