I have a friend, Stan, who drives a pickup. He'd always try to get my attention by whistling at me from behind the wheel of his car when he passed me walking down the street. Naturally, being a girl used to the boorish ways of men, I'd ignore him - because never ever look at someone catcalling you unless you plan to insult them - and he'd get offended, then yell at me for ignoring him. "Stan, you moron, I'm not going to acknowledge you if you whistle at me," I'd explain patiently. He never got it. I think it's because he's an Italian from Long Island. Not that there's anything wrong with being an Italian from Long Island. It just explained so much though.

But what is it with men thinking that they can whistle at you, leer, ogle shamelessly, mutter remarks under their breaths about your appearance, roll down their car windows and stick their stupid heads out to look back at you.. so on, and so forth.

I don't know why, but I've especially noticed it of late. Maybe I'm more sensitive to it now, or maybe it just happens more. I have no idea. But it just makes me want to chuck a large heavy object - or whatever I'm holding - at the offender. For crying out loud, the other day I was walking back to work from the drugstore, when an SUV of guys in their mid-20s all very overtly stared at me, some even rolling down the car windows and sticking nearly their entire torsos out of the car to watch me as they drove away. Sure, I'm cute enough, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm nowhere even in the same league as Gisele Bundchen or some other hot supermodel/actress.

It's vaguely flattering, but somehow deeply offensive at the same time. Flattering because it's nice to know that you're attractive. Offensive because you just feel like a piece of meat.

And sure, women check out men all the time. But I bet that the percentage of women who engage in overt expressions are far fewer (except perhaps in bars or when there's alcohol involved. All bets are off when alcohol is involved).

A large problem is that I have this tendency to make eye contact with people whenever I pass by them. I'm not sure why I do this - I've been told it's a very European thing? - but really, I need to stop doing this - or at least buy sunglasses with even darker lenses. Stupid American men think that I'm making a pass at them if I look them in the eye. Sometimes, I feel like telling them that no, you're nobody special just because I'm making eye contact, that it's habit, that I want to make sure you're not completely crazy justincase. But you know, the opportunity never really presents itself. That, and I don't talk to strangers.

But it's just galling. I shoudln't have to feel self-conscious walking around. I shouldn't have to feel like I should be wearing a cardigan in 100 degree heat just to cover my shoulders and chest because I'm wearing a strappy top that reveals some cleavage. I'm wearing the top because it's so damn hot, not because I'm trying to attract attention. I shouldn't have to scurry past construction sites because I feel uncomfortable with multiple pairs of eyes staring at me. I should be able to make eye contact with people and have them assume that it's just an acknowledgement of their presence, rather than anything more.

I suppose it is rather flattering that I'm not found utterly repugnant by the male population. But the portion of the male population that indulges in such actions of crassness are repugnant to me. What girl wants a loutish boor? Nobody I know. And the next guy who stares will either get the finger, or some nasty comment, because I am fed up to here with it all.