Thoroughly Modern Millie
I was going to post an APB for Michael Vartan, as I heard yesterday on Kevin and Bean (the best morning radio talk show ever) that he and Jennifer Garner are no longer. He is my ideal guy, I swear. 6' tall, part-French, fluent in French, hot, and more than 5 years older than me (as I have moved onto older guys now. But not too old, mind you).
Anyway, my plan is to hunt him down, as he does live in LA and go out here, and convince him that I am the woman for him. So if anyone sees him, tell him that there is a perfectly cute girl just perfect for him - and eons better than Jennifer Garner, who tries way too hard to be cutesy when she really looks like her face got squished in the doors of an elevator.
ANYHOW. Like always, I digress. In an effort to be more cultured and civilised and whatnot, my theatre-going buddy Katie and I went to see Thoroughly Modern Millie at the Ahmanson Theatre in downtown LA on Tuesday.
Now, I like my musicals to be musicals - lush, overdone, big synchronised song-and-dance numbers. Preferably with a cheesy and predictable storyline - you know, a love interest gone awry but of course they find each other - with a big fat happy ending. One big sappy song about love is always good. Some humour, too. And did I mention the song-and-dance? If you can even incorporate some tap in there, I'll be in heaven. On my 'yay' list: Kiss Me, Kate, Chicago, Wicked (okay, no tap and there's not really a love story, but it was so good anyway). On my 'eh' list: Les Misérables, Miss Saigon (I do not like tragedy of any sort), The Lion King (the amazing costumes made it worthy), Cabaret. On my 'ew' list: Rent, Tommy. I know that I've seen more musicals, but I can't remember them all now.
Which category did Thoroughly Modern Millie fall into? Resoundingly, the first one. With bells and whistles. It had the great cheesy storyline. It had my tap dancing! It was horribly un-PC (I am not an advocate of political correctness as I think that it's often taken way overboard)!
The story is quite simple. A young girl - Millie - from Kansas moves to New York in the 1920s (I love the 20s, if there's an era I'd like to return to it'd be the 1920s. Or the 1960s, for the Mod fashion), hellbent on being a "modern" woman and finding herself a rich husband. There is a second storyline - young girls - of Millie's age - are disappearing all over the city, rumoured to having been sold into white slavery in the Orient.
You can guess the rest. Millie thinks she finds herself a rich husband, but instead falls in love with the poor guy (who turns out to be rich, of course) who had insulted her on her very first day in New York. The proprietor of the ladies' hotel Millie stays in is indeed the part of this white slavery chain, abducting orphans from her hotel and selling them off. It could potentially be deeply offensive, the very clichéd manner in which Chinese people are portrayed - and maybe I am a horrible person but it was very very funny. Millie's best friend falls in puppy love with Millie's boss, only to later fall in love with one of her potential Chinese abductors. There are more little twists I won't share, I can't completely spoil it.
And there is some tap. There are some big synchronised numbers. There's even that one great song (okay, maybe only great in my head) entitled "Gimme Gimme", here are some of the lyrics:
And for those of you who need the validation of awards before you'll drag yourself off your asses and shell out a pretty penny for theatre tickets - Thoroughly Modern Millie won six Tonys in 2002, including Best Musical. So there! You don't have an excuse anymore!
Unfortunately, it closed last month on Broadway. Fortunately, this is only the beginning leg of its tour, and I highly recommend that all run out and see it.
(And if you happen to see Michael Vartan out and about, club him over the head and bring him to me. I will forever be in your debt.)
Anyway, my plan is to hunt him down, as he does live in LA and go out here, and convince him that I am the woman for him. So if anyone sees him, tell him that there is a perfectly cute girl just perfect for him - and eons better than Jennifer Garner, who tries way too hard to be cutesy when she really looks like her face got squished in the doors of an elevator.
ANYHOW. Like always, I digress. In an effort to be more cultured and civilised and whatnot, my theatre-going buddy Katie and I went to see Thoroughly Modern Millie at the Ahmanson Theatre in downtown LA on Tuesday.
Now, I like my musicals to be musicals - lush, overdone, big synchronised song-and-dance numbers. Preferably with a cheesy and predictable storyline - you know, a love interest gone awry but of course they find each other - with a big fat happy ending. One big sappy song about love is always good. Some humour, too. And did I mention the song-and-dance? If you can even incorporate some tap in there, I'll be in heaven. On my 'yay' list: Kiss Me, Kate, Chicago, Wicked (okay, no tap and there's not really a love story, but it was so good anyway). On my 'eh' list: Les Misérables, Miss Saigon (I do not like tragedy of any sort), The Lion King (the amazing costumes made it worthy), Cabaret. On my 'ew' list: Rent, Tommy. I know that I've seen more musicals, but I can't remember them all now.
Which category did Thoroughly Modern Millie fall into? Resoundingly, the first one. With bells and whistles. It had the great cheesy storyline. It had my tap dancing! It was horribly un-PC (I am not an advocate of political correctness as I think that it's often taken way overboard)!
The story is quite simple. A young girl - Millie - from Kansas moves to New York in the 1920s (I love the 20s, if there's an era I'd like to return to it'd be the 1920s. Or the 1960s, for the Mod fashion), hellbent on being a "modern" woman and finding herself a rich husband. There is a second storyline - young girls - of Millie's age - are disappearing all over the city, rumoured to having been sold into white slavery in the Orient.
You can guess the rest. Millie thinks she finds herself a rich husband, but instead falls in love with the poor guy (who turns out to be rich, of course) who had insulted her on her very first day in New York. The proprietor of the ladies' hotel Millie stays in is indeed the part of this white slavery chain, abducting orphans from her hotel and selling them off. It could potentially be deeply offensive, the very clichéd manner in which Chinese people are portrayed - and maybe I am a horrible person but it was very very funny. Millie's best friend falls in puppy love with Millie's boss, only to later fall in love with one of her potential Chinese abductors. There are more little twists I won't share, I can't completely spoil it.
And there is some tap. There are some big synchronised numbers. There's even that one great song (okay, maybe only great in my head) entitled "Gimme Gimme", here are some of the lyrics:
A simple choice, nothing more(I will be deeply offended if you think I liked that song due to its title alone, which reeks of selfishness and material greediness if you don't know the lyrics to the song.)
This or that, either or
Marry well, social whirl, business man, clever girl
Or pin my future on a green glass love
What kind of life am I dreaming of?
I say gimme, gimme ... gimme, gimme
Gimme, gimme that thing called love
I want it
Gimme, gimme that thing called love
I need it
Highs and lows, tears and laughter
Gimme happy ever after
Gimme, gimme that thing called love
....
Gimme, gimme that thing called love
I want it
Here I am, St. Valentine
My bags are packed, I'm first in line
Aphrodite, don't forget me
Romeo and Juliet me
Fly, dove! Sing, sparrow!
Gimme fat boy's famous arrow
Gimme, gimme that thing called love!
And for those of you who need the validation of awards before you'll drag yourself off your asses and shell out a pretty penny for theatre tickets - Thoroughly Modern Millie won six Tonys in 2002, including Best Musical. So there! You don't have an excuse anymore!
Unfortunately, it closed last month on Broadway. Fortunately, this is only the beginning leg of its tour, and I highly recommend that all run out and see it.
(And if you happen to see Michael Vartan out and about, club him over the head and bring him to me. I will forever be in your debt.)
posted at 10:27
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