Early-morning thought processes.

Several friends asked why I left Charlie's room so early in the morning, why I didn't just sleep over. I did mean to sleep over. I had every intention of sleeping over - the alarm was even set for 10 AM, so that I could get dressed and meet Karina for brunch (and he was so cute about wondering why I even had to leave. "I can make you tea and we can have Charlie's Tea Cup here," he said. Silly boy. That's not the point.)

Keep in mind that I normally never have coffee or caffeine of any sort. But due to my insomnia last Thursday night, I had not one, but four cups of coffee over the course of the day because I didn't have time to take a nap. FOUR. My hand was shaking as I tried to put on makeup that night, that was definitely not a good sign.

Scene: 7 freaking AM. Rays of sunlight are peeking around the corner of his windowshades. I have not really slept all night, stupid coffee.

Dammit.

I wonder what time it is.

It's definitely late enough for it to be sunny.

Why the hell are buses so loud in the morning?

Why are New York streets so damn noisy in general?

I need to go to the bathroom.

Really, really badly.

Do I get redressed in last night's outfit, go to the bathroom, and then undress again? That's so much damn work.

But I really need to pee. And I want water. Why did I have to sleep next to the wall. I hate sleeping next to the wall.

At least he doesn't steal sheets. This bed is small enough.

I don't like down pillows. I can't sleep with down pillows.

It's too noisy to sleep.

I really need to pee. Still. Maybe I should just wrap one of his towels around me. Damn him for having roommates.

Boys' bathrooms are dirty.

Maybe nobody is up and I can sneak into the bathroom naked.

No, if someone is up, that might scare him.

Ew, who knows how clean those towels are anyway. Why does he hang them off his closet doors?

At least the white towel looks clean.

Maybe I should rummage around and find a shirt.

Maybe I should just wear last night's outfit. But it's so much work to get in and out of.

Boys' bathrooms are dirty. I don't want to pee in a boy's bathroom. I know Karina's bathroom is sparkling clean.

Maybe if I don't think about it, I'll be okay.

No, I really really need to go to the bathroom.

Maybe he'll wake up soon. No, he looks dead to the world.

Dammit I need to pee.

Dammit.

And so it turns out, I'd rather pay $23 for a cab ride back to a clean bathroom at 7:30 AM rather than stay and use a boy's bathroom. If I ever move in with someone, I'm going to need my own bathroom. Otherwise, it's just not going to be pretty.