ISO a multilingual acrobat with a penchant for whiny uber-intelligent children.

At this lovely university I go to, you can get job openings emailed to you on a daily basis. So I signed up, thinking that maybe I could find a part-time job to kill some of the abundance of free time I have. Amongst some of the many jobs offered are babysitting/tutoring jobs. I understand that people are very selective about who they let watch/teach their offspring, for very understandable reasons.. but sometimes, just sometimes, their requests seem a wee bit ridiculous. Or maybe it's just their descriptions of what they're looking for.

Cooper is a delightful, full-of-energy, independent, fun and outgoing 18 month-old who would love to make a new friend in you -- You are kind, thoughtful, a-get-on-your-hands-and-knees-wanna-play-with-cars & trucks and go to the playground young person, who can absorb into toddler-time (who knows what this is or is willing to learn)while you're hanging-out with Coop!

In other words, this kid is a raging energetic horror and will be running around non-stop while you attempt to ward off the migraine developing from watching him.

Sitter needed for 9 -1/2 year old boy who loves computer and video games, Warhammer 40K, building scenery for table top games, fishing, history, Greek mythology, foam sword fighting, swimming, cooking, manga, etc. Need someone who loves interaction and who also can encourage some physical activity and exploration. Also would be great if sitter knew about computer and video games such as Age of Mythology, Lord of the Rings.

Also it would be very helpful if you could teach our kid social skills as he seems to come home bruised and beaten up with a "kick me" sign taped to his back.

We live several minutes from the Yard, and are looking for a student to tutor our 13-year-old son and provide occasional academic support (reviewing for tests, etc.) to our 15-year-old daughter. Robin (15)and Alex (13) are nice kids. Alex would prefer to work with someone who is sports-minded, and in particular who would be willing to throw a football after studies are completed. He has a lot of homework each night from the middle school he attends. In addition to help with homework, he would also benefit from study skills tips and help prioritizing his workload. Since Alex would prefer to be playing football or talking about sports, the ideal candidate is someone who is fun and can talk about sports -- but who can then get down to business (and get Alex to join you) when it's time to get started on homework.

Older daughter is self-sufficient, but we were so happy when we (finally!) gave birth to a son that we let him run amok and now he has no discipline whatsoever, but because he is the youngest (and male!) we have overindulged him and now don't want him to hate us so we're really looking for a scapegoat - you!

We have just moved here and need help in unpacking and settling in the house - this could lead to a part time assistant job to the owner who is a real estate broker.

Okay, this is not a childcare/tutoring posting, but how ridiculous is this?! Do menial labour for us, and we just might entertain the fleeting notion of helping out our real estate practice. But don't count on it.

Experienced, responsible, non-smoking babysitter wanted for bright, delightful and talkative 3-year-old boy...We would love someone with background in early childhood education, and/or interested in a career that involves working with children. Aside from playing with our son you will have to prepare simple meals and put him to sleep if we stay out later. Max loves to assemble puzzles, be read to, do gymnastics, listen (and play) music, paint, go to parks (in afternoons). Applicant should be enthusiastic, fun, sweet and kind to children and be comfortable with big dogs. Must be child-CPR certified and know generally how to act in an emergency. Native German (and/or Arabic which he understands) a plus since Max grows up bilingual.

Max is way smarter at the young age of 3 than you'll ever be. He is a budding Einstein. In fact, he already knows the difference between a Picasso and a Bracque! He has a future career on the men's Olympic gymnastics team, so if you don't have CPR knowledge and he accidentally chokes on the filet mignon you are (obviously) expected to cook for him, we are going to sue you up the wazoo.

We are looking for a WARM, KIND, FUN, EXPERIENCED student to babysit for our 4.5 year old daughter. Stella is a cheery, talkative, imaginative, bright little girl. She is very social. She loves singing, playing music, reading, drawing, telling stories, "doing plays", and playing with baby dolls (among other things). She interacts really well with adults and other children of all ages. Sitters tell us that Stella is truly fun to be with! Our little condo has a great kids' backyard, terrific (and thoughtful) kids' books, music, and toys, and a veggie garden. We live within easy walking distance to four wonderful parks. We are looking for someone interested in and experienced with young children. Someone enthusiastic. We would love to incorporate some of your favorite activities for young children (storytelling, painting, doing plays, etc.) into Stella's day or evening, as well. CPR and First Aid certification is a plus.

Stella has issues confronting the real world and prefers to live in the fantasy world she has constructed. We have tried pulling her out of it but have since given up. As Blanche duBois said, "I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell the truth. I tell what ought to be truth." Lil' Stella here is following in Blanche's footsteps.

I am an alum with a vacation home on Cape Cod, and two imaginative and active sons, ages 8 and 10. I am looking for a student with prior babysitting experience to join us at the Cape for one or more fall weekends and help out generally with the kids, so that I can take breaks as needed for work or to have an evening movie date with my husband. Hours are flexible (e.g., you will certainly have time for your own class reading), and you get a generous fee plus private room and paid transportation to Cape Cod. Driver's license is preferred but no car necessary. So if you like the idea of escaping Cambridge for the weekend, and hanging out on the beach/in the yard/at the playground/at mini-golf, bowling etc. with two fun kids, please let me know.

Once we get you out to the remote enclaves of the Cape, there will be no escaping us. You will then do as much babysitting as we can wring out of you. You will have time to read when the children are asleep.

Our 11 year old daughter (going into 6th grade) is not being well-served by her current school's non-traditional curriculum and needs extra tutorial in verbal skills, including vocabulary and reading comprehension (she performs in the middle of the pack in a school filled with bright children). In addition, we wish her to receive extra instruction in mathematics. Her current curriculum also preps children poorly for standardized testing. We anticipate that she will take the ISEE or an equivalent examination in 7th and 8th grade and want her to perform well. Although test prep is not our primary goal, her studies should include adequate preparation for standardized testing.

We know, the easier tactic would be to send our daughter to a school with a (gasp!) traditional curriculum instead of trying to compensate by finding a tutor. But we heard that the latest thing was to send your children to this fancy non-traditional school, and we are definitely trying to keep up with the over-intellectual Jones' that live here. Too bad our daughter isn't bright enough to keep up to par, but that's why we're hiring YOU!

We're looking for an occasional babysitter. We have a 13 year old daughter with a busy social life and an inclination not to babysit for her younger brother! Our son is 5 years old (6 in February) and just entering kindergarten. He's the one who needs sitting. Of course he's my own child, but I can tell you that he is polite, fun to be with and not obnoxious. He loves to play board games, computer games, adores imaginative play and riding his two wheeler (no training wheels!) We have a playground around the corner. Our last sitter can vouch for us as a family (she moved and is getting married...) My son really misses having her as a special friend in his life and we're hoping to find a new friend. We have MANY FRIENDS with children who are looking for sitters, so if we can't provide enough hours for you personally, we'll hook you up with a boatload!!!

We are blithely lying through our teeth - our son is another holy terror, why do you think his sister refuses to watch him? She's a smart one, that girl. And his former "special friend" couldn't get married quick enough to get away from us. But no fear! We have MANY FRIENDS with kids just like our little pumpkin so if one hyperactive child isn't enough for you, we can supply you with many many more.

We are looking for someone to spend time with our two boys, 8 and 12, occasional evenings and somewhat regular Saturday nights. Someone who enjoys sports, science, math--a plus! Our seventh grader may need some regular math tutoring--though we're not certain yet. You could possibly do both childcare and tutoring. We are looking for an outgoing, mature, reliable person--male or female--with significant experience with kids. Enough to enjoy them, but remain in charge. Non-smoker, own transportation a plus, but not necessary. Great job for someone who enjoys the company of kids! Thanks!

Yes, we want someone who can do it all - watch our kids AND teach them. Yes, that is traditionally the role of the parent, but why would we bother being the disciplinarian when we can hire YOU instead? Then we can just purchase toys for our children and buy their love that way.